I was upset and frustrated at all the injustice going on in our family. I had intense feelings of helplessness. In an attempt to stay engaged on a daily basis, we started seeking Christian audio and television programs to carry us from one Sunday worship session to the next. We yearned for the emotional wave from the worship music that our new church fellowship offered.
I should make it clear that we were not harboring hate or discontent with people. We were shocked and broken because we thought we were in relationship with other believers. We had forgiven them and were just trying to move on with our lives.
That’s Not What the Bible Says
One morning the television was on a Christian station and I heard a man talking from the other room while I was cleaning the kitchen. He made a statement that my mind immediately discounted. I heard myself saying, “That’s not what the Bible says,” as I marched my little butt over to the television. I was going to give this man the “what for” with all my great knowledge.
Yet, as I sat on the edge of the coffee table I continued to listen, and I saw the scripture referenced on the screen. In that moment I realized that something I had been taught all of my life in church was suddenly proven wrong, by the Bible no less.
For the first time in my life I began to hear the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I continued to watch and listen as my Spirit leapt inside of me. All of my life, I was taught that God was holding my sins against me, and this teacher had just blown my mind with a scripture that said otherwise (by the way, that scripture was 2 Corinthians 5:17).
This moment changed everything for me as far as relating to God. It’s like this weight was lifted from my chest. I started to well up inside as tears were falling down my face.
This revelation would be the first of many to set me free from condemnation, guilt and my ability to measure up. I was stuck like glue to the television. I couldn’t get enough truth, and I was sucking it up like a dry sponge. I had never heard the scriptures that he was reading, and I had never before experienced the peace that was flowing from inside those words.
I listened the next day and the next, and even ordered a teaching series from the ministry. When it came in the mail, my husband snatched it up first and took it with him to listen on the way to work. He came home that evening and told me I had to immediately stop what I was doing and listen to the CD, because it was going to rock my world. It challenged every theology we had ever been taught.
I pondered everything I heard in those teachings, and I was hungry for more! I was hearing truths that were setting me free and something inside of me was bearing witness that this was truth.
Our Hearts Were Being Changed
Even though we were still walking through a challenging environment, all of a sudden things were different and we could see hope. We could feel the release valve opening and the pressure escaping. We thought to ourselves, “We can overcome this, we’re going to make it!” We had knowledge that we didn’t have before, and it had power that was indescribable.
We were zealous for the things of God. We began exploring the Bible for ourselves. We were finding relief in the scriptures, and discovering that the things we had been previously taught were just religious tradition and the doctrines of man, not Biblical truth. We were beginning our journey with truth and revelation, and we would never be the same.